Civilization not so civilized
The weeks spent working on conservation at ground level flew by like hours. The time to leave the veldt and head back to the big bad city had come. A few minutes following my return to civilization I noticed my breathing patterns were slightly different and a throbbing headache was starting to split my head into two. This might have been caused by my body readjusting to breathing the polluted city air or maybe it was the lump in my throat caused by being separated from the veldt and the wonderful people in the conservation world. Whatever it was it had to be shaken off as there was more conservation work to be done in the city albeit not as hands on.
My re-introduction to civilization gave me perspective; it gave me a chance to have an objective look at the life we often lose ourselves in. Civilization has an uncanny rush to it. The conservation world also has a rush to it, but a very different one. Conservation is mainly rushing to preserve the integrity of ecosystems by conserving species while civilization is mainly in a rush to build up more material wealth. There is also a rush to relieve people of their prized possessions in the city. Less than six hours back in the city I was reminded that this place was not as warm and friendly as the veldt by the sight of a family perplexed by a robbery. The wife was teary and confused as to how someone opened her backpack, grabbed their wallets and electronics, and closed the backpack again without her noticing. The husband was also confused but for the sake of being manly he pretended to be unfazed while mumbling things that seemed to confuse his wife even more. Throughout all of this their child was doing what children do best but the poor boy was also confused. He could not figure out why his parents were not paying any attention to him even though he was clearly being naughty.
My sympathy for the family was greeted with even more confused looks; a reminder that caring is not a common thing around here. Breathing became slightly more difficult and the headache more menacing, or maybe it was the lump in my throat trying to smother me. I thought about the veldt; where no extra vigilance for our belongings was required, except maybe in the case of curious monkeys or birds looking to decorate anything that is left under a tree with their pooh. I also thought about how my body was a happy camper when inhaling the clean veldt air. Then I thought about how I had to discard my silly thoughts because this world was not that world, and civilization is not as civilized as the bush.
Once those silly thoughts had flown to Neverland reality struck even harder than the throbbing headache. I was back in a place where individuality is mostly frowned upon, where mass consumption is fashionable and sheepishly following norms is the norm. I was back in civilization where most of the light skinned folk expected me to be ignorant and have a false sense of entitlement but they have never tried to understand why I am making my own way. This world where my fellow dark skinned folk would rather call me names instead of trying to understand why I chose individuality over conforming to norms.
Civility is not a common thing in civilization, I prefer being in the bush. I do however have to adapt to this hostile environment much in the same way that nature always adapts and never complains. I have to continue my conservation journey with my mentor’s wise words in mind; “the actions of the individual often influence the actions of the collective and you have to always work with what you have”. I have to continue believing my work and that of other conservationists will inspire hope in this civilization. My breathing patterns slowly returned to normal and the headache slowly dissolved away as I found comfort in the fact that all movements regardless of their size started with one person actively choosing be the difference. I have chosen to be that person in my community and accepted that people’s negativity will always be a part of the package.
– Fortunate M. Phaka